1. Go to a strip club. This sounds cliché, but depending on the bride-to-be’s opinion on this idea, it’s always a winner. I would encourage it only if she’s onboard—it doesn’t pay to start out your marriage on a sour note. Hiring a private dancer is an alright idea, but unfortunately tends to invite more trouble than seeing one in a public establishment.

2. Go camping. This one sounds a little crying-men-hugging-in-the-woods-ish, but it does work. Alcohol-infused camping proves to be much more interesting than male-empowerment groups. It is one of the unheralded bachelor party ideas.

3. Take a road trip. A road trip to where, you ask? Who cares? What is the purpose of the road trip? Again, who cares? Men hitting the open road has been an American tradition since Henry Ford and his capitalist buddies began taking his own vehicles out over every terrain imaginable. Get out and get driving. Man was made to be behind a wheel! Visit a new state, drive through woods, combine this option with the strip club idea and do a cross-country study of gentlemen’s establishments.

4. Have a house party. Boring? Not in the least. Get the boys together, get as much alcohol as you require, and get stupid. You may get loud. You may break some things. You may dance with other men and even find yourself saying mushy things would never say sober, but in the end you’ll have a great night to remember…or not remember, depending how much you drank. The next-morning headache and nausea will be worth it as you step over your fallen comrades and make your way to the nearest gas station for microwave breakfast burritos and coffee.

5 . Try it sober. This screams “lame”. But let’s face it, some of us are living alcohol free. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a bad time. In fact, you can still do all the previous four activities completely sober (Option three actually needs to be done sober). The pro? You remember everything. Every breast, every funny moment. The con? You remember every old breast, every not-funny moment that fell flat and turned the whole conversation awkward. That’s okay, though. Every bachelor party experience, good or bad, is still an experience, and one you can remember to tell your own kids (and maybe someday your wife).